As I work with more and more people as their personal trainer and others as their weight-loss/health coach I keep looking for keys to permanent solutions. While it’s easy enough to preach the ‘eat less exercise more’ dogma, that doesn’t speak to the underlying causes of obesity.
I’ve realized obesity is rarely just about consumption and laziness. Yes, the only way to gain weight is to eat more than our body needs to function on a daily basis. But why are people eating too much? Why are people inactive?
I’ve had some clients describe themselves as lazy. But upon further examination we see these people are anything but lazy. They hold down jobs and work very hard at them. They are supportive friends and family members. They go out of their way to help those in need. None of these attributes describes a lazy person.
Others say they love food. That’s why they overeat. But who doesn’t love food? Most people, obese or not, will claim to love food. Look at the French. They pride themselves on culinary perfection. Their lives seem to revolve around fine foods. Multiple courses. High fat content. Wine. Lots and lots of wine. And yet as a society they are much less susceptible to obesity than Americans. Do they love food less than we do? Not likely.
So what’s really going on?
Comfort. I think it’s all about comfort.
For those that have always been thin, healthy and active this may not make any sense. After all being overweight or obese doesn’t appear to be comfortable. Clothes that don’t fit right. Struggling to make it up a few stairs or in and out of a car. Obesity related illnesses and medication. What could be comfortable about that?
Is this your comfort zone?
But don’t all of us have things we do, vices we have that we know aren’t good for us? Maybe our vice doesn’t reveal itself publicly or it’s not viewed in the same negative light that obesity is. But we have them. Too much TV. Excess time on Facebook. The hidden bag of chocolate chips we indulge in after everyone’s gone to sleep.
Or we justify our vice by saying it’s for the benefit of others or ourselves. Like being a workaholic. Excessive exercise. Time consuming hobbies. Time spent helping others but at the expense of our family.
If we are doing things that upon honest evaluation are not truly benefiting ourselves or are hurting those around us, we are no different than the obese person we scorn for not getting off their butt and exercising more or for failing to control what they consume.
And we come back to comfort. If we feel we belong in a certain place or set of circumstances, that will be our place of comfort. It doesn’t have to feel good. In fact we probably feel guilty being there. But it’s so scary to move outside of this home we’ve created for ourselves that we continue doing what feels comfortable. To the harm of us and those around us.
The only solution is to find and accept a little hand holding. Someone we can trust to tug on us a bit on a regular basis. Someone we know we will feel accountable to that will not be afraid to question our motives and challenge us to take small steps outside the safe world we have created. It won’t be comfortable. Leaving home rarely is. But it’s always worth it. Especially when you go with someone else.
